What is the true meaning of 'keeping up your appearance' for your spouse?

My Grandma tells me that when it comes to being married that you have to keep up your appearance, in other words don't let your look go. Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I wonder if it is her way of telling me that I am not that attractive. I know I'm not the sexiest thing on 2 feet, lol. Throughout the years she has made comments to me like 'you don't have big boobs' or 'your too plain jane'. As for my Mom, she would NEVER say those things. She tells me a man will love you for who you are. I don't know, what do you think? Has any relative or parent ever tell you that?What is the true meaning of 'keeping up your appearance' for your spouse?
Usually it means don't get fat. LOL





Don't worry about your grandmother, it's your husband's opinion that counts. She might just be looking out for you and trying to help keep your marriage good. Sometimes people just project their own insecurities too.





Obviously you don't want to look like crap for your husband. It doesn't hurt for spouses to try to look nice for each other. But if your husband is happy with you and you're happy with him, that's what's most important.What is the true meaning of 'keeping up your appearance' for your spouse?
I think it's important to be healthy, fit and stay well-groomed. It doesn't matter that you don't have ';big boobs';, not everyone does. Remember, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.


A real man will love you for who you are but that's no excuse to let yourself go. Every night I make sure that when I climb into bed I am clean, legs and other parts are shaved and/or trimmed up. I know it's important to my husband so it's important to me.
Drastic changes in appearance can destroy ones marriage. Regardless if its PC to say or not, physical desire / attractiveness matters in a marriage. Nobody wants to have sex with someone they find unattractive (or who has bad hygiene).





Obviously nobody is getting ';younger'; and everyone gains a little weight and some wrinkles. These changes don't matter because our mind really don't register them because we become used to our spouses gradual changes.





So overall I would say, if your spouse found you attractive initially (and they probably did if they married you) than don't sweat small changes. Avoid drastic gaining of weight or letting oneself go by dressing like a slob and having bad personel hygriene.
Well my dad told my mom when they got married, that if she got fat he would divorce her. I know that sounds bad and all, but she still isn't fat. He said that because he finds fatness unattractive and he wants her to remain healthy. People want you to keep up your appearance because it shows that you still care about yourself. If you stop caring about yourself, that could lead people to believe you could stop caring for others.
No one has ever told me to keep up on appearance. Your grandmother does not know your relationship with your husband so you shouldn't pay her any mind.





Saying that, you should look attractive for your spouse. I run, exercise, eat well, try to keep a wardobe that's current with the times, and stay neat and clean.
It shouldn't be about the acquisition of ';big boobs'; for one thing... and whether or not you choose to wear piles of make-up is another matter. (I don't think *most* men like that anyway, jmho.)


What it means is keeping yourself in good, healthy shape -- being your ';best self'; for your partner.


He/She didn't fall in love with an unwashed slob... so don't turn into one.


xoxoxo
If you want to keep your man around, keep your self approachable. Its not so much as you hav eto lose 50lbs. Just make sure every once in a while, you dress nice and show him you can still look good after X amount of time.
Sounds like your Grandma is both old fashioned and shallow.





Don't worry about anyone except yourself and your husband. If the two of you are happy, that's all you need.
It means having enough self respect to keep yourself healthy, in shape, and attractive as possible.
It means keep in shape as best as you can.
Just don't let yourself go.
well i am so glad you asked that. your gramma is a little 'dotty' and because she is old and half pickled says silly things when they come to mind.





however, in her sillyness she does touch on some real truths.





it is gods honest truth that it is better not to let yourself go, that is, gain more than, say, 30 pounds over 30 years of marriage. yes, you should always look your best, that is common sense, not just marriage sense.





your mom is so wrong, a man does not tend to love you for who you are if you are a slob who has gained 50 pounds, never gets dressed in anything but jeans and does not shave her legs or wear any makeup. especially when she did all those things before.





same as you would not respect him for the same things.





the poster above me, a guy named MEBO, says it from a guys point of view. what he says is the whole truth.





in fact my number one !!!!! piece of advice for young marrieds after observing marriages and life for 30 years is this very thing : dont gain weight. really.


i doubt very much that you are a plain jane. really, with makeup and hair and other advances in beauty there is really no such thing anymore.





the best news of our day and age: if you dont have em, you can actually buy boobs!
there's nothing we can do about the body that was given to us. We have the nose we have ..period. I think it means more to 'take care' of ourselves you know like regular haircuts, nails done, nice clothes etc. You could be as pretty as can be but if you don't take care of yourself how good is that!





I grew up with boys. No one ever told me I was pretty when growing up, not my mom, not my grand-parents etc. So I grew up thinking I was plain till I got in college and learn I was hot...lol. That's why I would have loved to have a sister, someone with whom I could have dressed up, learn to put make up on, exchange clothes, I would have been more confident in my feminity.





He will love you for who you are, yes. He'll love you and accept your breasts, your nose and the love handles that come with you. Still....you've got to look your best with what you've got!
Your Grandma should never say things like that, your husband will love you no matter what. Maybe you are looking too much into it, it might just be her way of speaking, she doesn't mean that you are plain in looks. I know of a woman who's grandma is abit of a battle axe %26amp; says things to her all the time like '; your too skinny no man will want you'; %26amp; ';all my grand kids are good looking except for you'; to my friend, take no notice some people say things without thinking of hurting peoples feelings. If she says anything again, ask her jokingly if she's saying you are ugly? see what she says, she probably will say no but if she says yes.......answer back with your looks were inherited down the generations so its her fault or something like that to get her back lol
When my fiance and I started dating I was of a certain weight, he asked that my usual weight and I said that it was. We discussed many things at the beginning of our relationship and he said that he did not want to be with a woman who gets fat after she gets married. I have to be 100% honest, I have seen many of my friends get married, put on 50 pounds and then complain that their husbands don't take them out anymore, etc. I have the same requirement of him, and this isn't just for vanity purposes or because we are shallow, with weight gain comes serious health problems. Also we are in our late 30s and have not yet had children so it is important to us to be as healthy as possible not only so that I can have my own children but so that we can be active and energetic when we do have children.